“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” Maya A.

Today, I answer the question:

Why do people have a hard time believing in positive change in someone? 

So some people don’t have such a hard time believing in positive change. Some people do have a hard time. Those people who have a hard time are the ones who either have been hurt by that or other person. Or maybe they’ve observed a person in their life who never changed. Or they believed that the person would change, and the person would change in a positive direction. And then reverted back. So they were disappointed with the expectation of change.

So, if there is somebody, let’s take an example, who is a family member of an alcoholic. They see the person drinking all their life, and then the person says, “Okay, I’m gonna change, I’m gonna change”. They stop drinking temporarily, then they start again. Then they stop drinking temporarily. They say, “Yes, this time is for sure,” and they start again. And it’s like that on and on and on and on. So that person who believed that this drinking person would change might feel very disappointed. And then what has happened, they became very much hurt because, “Okay, I believed that you’re really going to change and you didn’t.” And so, those people then later on stopped believing in positive change in people. They just basically say, “Okay, people don’t change. I don’t believe that people would ever change”. While in reality, some people can change in a positive direction. But people who have had negative experiences don’t believe it because they’re trying to protect themselves from being hurt again.

So I hope that makes sense, and it usually depends on the personal experience of the person that you have in mind. 

People who have had negative experiences with it don't believe that people can change because they're trying to protect themselves from being hurt again.

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