Long time no see. Even YouTube sent me a message saying it’s been 40 days since I last posted anything. And it was. I could say that is because I have a child which I didn’t have before. It’s very easy to use that as an excuse for not doing anything else, and I could do that, but the truth is I realized that I no longer want to do things or send my energy to things if I don’t aspire to do so.
If you have not listened to videos of Bashar, a very good channel, I recommend Googling and listening to Bashar.
Bashar
He is a channel of consciousness, and one thing that he says is basically a self-containing mechanism is in excitement. So if you follow your excitement to the best of your ability in whatever place you are at the time, if you look at the things that you could choose the one that is more exciting than others, as that’s what you should do.
From the higher perspective excitement is an indication that you are heading in the direction of expansion and closing the gap with your higher-self, with your potentiality.
And you follow your excitement like that throughout the day, including the things that you have to do, like tasks and unavoidable duties. Out of the things that you have to do, what is the most exciting thing to do, and that’s how you do it step by step. Anything that you don’t do or you haven’t done and didn’t have time or energy to do it, that’s not the thing that you should have or needed to do.
The Videos Dilema
That’s not to say that videos are not exciting for me, but I feel inspired and I do things that inspire me the first. I have over 350 videos already, and at the beginning, it did serve the purpose of documenting, recording myself, vulnerability, of practising sharing with the audience. It was a challenge that I set to myself. It was also a training ground. Now I’m pretty confident with recording and camera, and editing. I’m way less tense than I was at the beginning, and more natural.
With Virgo Ascendant in my chart that was exactly what I needed to do in order to feel confident (wink wink my astrology friends 😊).
It did serve the purpose of documenting, recording myself, vulnerability, of practising sharing with the audience.
It was a challenge that I set to myself. It was also a training ground.
Inspiration & Real, Specific Problems
What I also found about doing videos, I feel most inspired to do them when there is something, either a specific problem, a specific question that somebody asked me to talk about or I’m in a moment of inspiration and I have some AHA moment happening.
The problem with that though, when I have this aha moment, I don’t always have my phone handy to film that. I have my mother’s duty, sometimes I’m in the middle of changing nappies, LOL.
(Actually, maybe I should try to do that, maybe that would be interesting, hmmm. )
But this is to say that I feel that I need to put my energy where I am most inspired to put energy first.
![](https://rutakahh.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Rutas-YT-channel-prtscr.png)
The Other Things
And videos are one of the things. However, there is this technique where you can do things every day and you just do it. Like practice. Like automatic writing.
But if that doesn’t feel natural for me, I don’t want to do it.
So it’s kind of like a bit of a crossroads for me where I don’t want to shut down my YouTube channel, as I feel it is an important information and documentation depository and information outlet. I don’t want to start a new channel either, because,
WHY?
I am me, and even though I am a more evolved and integrated version of myself,
I am still me.
And being an advocate for authenticity I feel that it is important to have the progression out there to be seen and owned up to.
I'm in the middle of reinventing myself. <...> And I haven't quite landed on what I want to go with now. And I want to feel that my energy is aligned to whatever I do with this.
At the same time, I feel that I am contributing more or getting more responses from my direct interactions with people who talk to me.
So for example, people that I work with, people that I have worked previously with, or people just ask questions. And lots of that is on a personal private level. So I guess some of that would be relevant to a large group of people, or at least some people who are struggling with the same.
But I have not figured it out how to publish that.
I.e., if somebody has a specific problem about something very specific that they have a challenge with, and then give my perspective, guidance or clarity on the root cause or the cause of action.
But that’s very much one-to-one that I do…
So I’m in the middle of reinventing myself.
I’m in the middle of, I guess, reinventing my videos or the way I do it. And I haven’t quite landed on what I want to go with now. And I want to feel that my energy is aligned to whatever I do with this.
So basically that’s that. I hope you’re having a beautiful day, just like I am in Brighton right now. Have a beautiful day.
Bye-bye.
![Loads of love signature RK Loads of love signature RK](https://rutakahh.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/Loads-of-love-signature-RK.png)
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